Episode 2
They Call Me 'The CEO Who Says "Fu*k" On The Internet' - but why?
I’m all about showing up as my true self, and yeah, that means I drop the F-bomb like it’s confetti at a party. Some folks might be turned off by that, but honestly? I couldn’t give a f...!
We need to all be about embracing who we are, flaws and all, and that includes my colorful vocabulary.
So in this episode, I want to talk with you about how being authentic can actually draw the right people to you – those who vibe with your unapologetic self.
So, kick back, grab your jar of fu*ks, throw one straight into the garbage, and let’s get into the messy, beautiful world of just being real!
Takeaways you'll learn from listening:
- Being unapologetically yourself is powerful, even if it includes a few f-bombs.
- Using humor and raw honesty in conversations can break down barriers and connect people.
- Your quirks and differences make you unique; embrace them instead of hiding them away.
- Cursing can create a sense of comfort in tough discussions about mental health and well-being. And if you offend someone, they probably weren't your vibe anyway.
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Transcript
Sometimes people ask me why I get referenced as the CEO who says fuck, fuck a lot on the Internet.
Speaker A:And the reason for that is complicated, but is mostly that I say fuck a lot on the Internet, but there are good reasons for it, and we'll talk about that now.
Speaker A:All right, here we go.
Speaker A:I'm going to pretend I'm pushing record, because that feels right.
Speaker A:Okay, I'm pressing record.
Speaker A:Boop.
Speaker A:Hi, everybody.
Speaker A:I'm Lauren Howard.
Speaker A:I go by L2.
Speaker A:Yes, you can call me L2.
Speaker A:Everybody does.
Speaker A:It's a long story.
Speaker A:It's actually not that long a story, but we'll see it for another time.
Speaker A:Welcome to Different Not Broken, which is our podcast on exactly that.
Speaker A:That there are a lot of people in this world walking around feeling broken, and the reality is you're just different, and that's fine.
Speaker A:You may know this, but we have some ground rules for every episode that we go through so that you know if you want to hear more about them.
Speaker A:We went through them in detail on our first episode, so hop back there if you didn't listen to it and run through it.
Speaker A:But we have four ground rules that I'll go through really quickly.
Speaker A:The first one is I'm gonna say fuck a lot.
Speaker A:It's just gonna happen.
Speaker A:There's gonna be lots of bad words.
Speaker A:I've got a potty mouth.
Speaker A:I'd like to say it's a problem.
Speaker A:It's not really a problem for me.
Speaker A:The second is I'm gonna tell stories.
Speaker A:I tell stories about everything, and then my stories have stories, and then we end up, like, three miles away from where we started because the side quests are various and sundry.
Speaker A:So just know that's gonna happen.
Speaker A:Three, we're gonna tell dead dad jokes.
Speaker A:If those make you uncomfortable, please say hi to both of your living parents.
Speaker A:Four, anything that comes out of your face is appropriate here.
Speaker A:We do not police language.
Speaker A:We do not police access to feelings.
Speaker A:Whatever you feel, whatever responses you have, they are perfectly appropriate and welcome here.
Speaker A:You are not expected to change anything about yourself, and we do not apologize for being human.
Speaker A:So all of that is welcome here.
Speaker A:But mostly the dead dad jokes.
Speaker A:I actually was processing new patient forms last night, and there were a lot of them.
Speaker A:And of the group, at least five of them said they found us because the CEO says fuck on the Internet.
Speaker A:Like, basically those words, like, people are putting that on their new patient submission forms, which I appreciate it makes me laugh very much, and someday that's.
Speaker A:It's not gonna actually be my responsibility to do it.
Speaker A:Like we're gonna hire somebody to do it, and that poor person, like, that's kind of unfair to them that they're gonna have to enter into a spreadsheet that the CEO says fuck on the Internet a lot.
Speaker A:But there are gonna be worse parts of the job, I'm sure.
Speaker A:But I mean, it came up because I use my personal account to talk about business.
Speaker A:I have learned after being on LinkedIn for as long as I have been, that people respond to people, and unless you're duolingo, they don't respond to businesses.
Speaker A:It's far easier to be unhinged as an individual on the Internet than it is as a company.
Speaker A:So when I started using Threads in particular, I wasn't sure if I wanted to talk about my business there.
Speaker A:I wasn't sure if I just kind of wanted to be unhinged.
Speaker A:Feminist, anti racist lady, which was kind of what I was developing into and still am.
Speaker A:And I really didn't talk about work much at all and honestly didn't even use it.
Speaker A:I mean, I used it, but not a ton.
Speaker A:And then I started getting some visibility, talking about Harrison Butler and how I must be failing my husband because I have made the very selfish decision to have a job.
Speaker A:And that started getting attention, which of course turned into conversations on professionalism and ableism and supporting neurodivergence and.
Speaker A:And then one day I was just like, maybe I should say something about the fact that we actually have support programs for this.
Speaker A:This is actually before our autism assessment had launched.
Speaker A:And I just said like, hey, guys, I am not sure that you guys know this, but we do have support programs available.
Speaker A:You know, it was during the election, so things were stressful.
Speaker A:I don't think we realized how stressful they were going to be.
Speaker A:But I also think things were kind of hopeful at that time.
Speaker A:And so it was a very different vibe as we got further and further into it.
Speaker A:And I had already started talking about my business.
Speaker A:We met J.D.
Speaker A:vance on a global scale, which only emboldened me to spend much of my time making fun of J.D.
Speaker A:vance on the Internet.
Speaker A:And then I was basically in this situation where all of these people are flocking to me because they think I'm funny, but also I talk about some really tough stuff.
Speaker A:And we have real programs for people who are going through mental health crises or who need support or who need any number of things.
Speaker A:And how do you balance that?
Speaker A:And I started to feel like maybe I shouldn't be saying some of the things that I say being critical of at the Time, the past administration and now the current administration, and calling people out for being misogynist, which is, like, my favorite thing.
Speaker A:I started to wonder, like, if I should I be doing this at all.
Speaker A:And then one day it just kind of hit me and was like, balance doesn't exist, and I'm going to hate running my business if running my business means that I can't also be a fierce and loud advocate for what we advocate for.
Speaker A:And also there were the questions about, like, do we actually care if our mental health professionals have opinions?
Speaker A:Like, is that a problem?
Speaker A:When did providing mental health care.
Speaker A:And I don't provide the care myself, but I facilitate a whole lot of it.
Speaker A:When did being aligned with mental health care meant you weren't allowed to have personal convictions?
Speaker A:Because I don't think that's ever been the case, and it shouldn't be the case.
Speaker A:And I.
Speaker A:I think, like, hiding your personal convictions does a disservice to your patients.
Speaker A:They should know who they're working with.
Speaker A:Like, people who wear red hats not going to appreciate the type of care that we provide.
Speaker A:Like, they're gonna hate how much we ask them about their pronouns.
Speaker A:And so I just realized, like, there.
Speaker A:There isn't a balance.
Speaker A:Like, there's no balance anywhere in my existence.
Speaker A:So then people started really responding well to the fact that we could both talk about mental health and say fuck a lot.
Speaker A:We could talk about mental health and talk about clocking Nazis.
Speaker A:We could have really, really raw conversations about what the current climate is doing to our mental health and how important dark humor is to our mental health.
Speaker A:And, like, when I say things, I say fuck.
Speaker A:Earlier this week, I said, like, maybe Chuck Schumer's glasses are always at the end of his nose because they're running away from his stupid fucking face.
Speaker A:And that apparently struck a chord.
Speaker A:Certainly struck a chord with me, because I think that's a valid question and I want answers to it.
Speaker A:But also, that guy can fuck himself.
Speaker A:And I think we should say that anyway.
Speaker A:So has it alienated people?
Speaker A:I'm sure.
Speaker A:I'm sure there are people who don't come to us for mental health treatment because I'm loud and bombastic and curse a lot on the Internet.
Speaker A:Those aren't our people.
Speaker A:There are people who come to us for mental health treatment because I say fuck on the Internet and because they know where to find me, and because they know that we are ideologically aligned and that they do not have to worry about telling us what medications they're on that are prescribed by their completely Legitimate providers who are giving them the appropriate gender affirming care that they need.
Speaker A:They don't have to worry about asking us for providers who align with them culturally, who have lived experience that aligns with their own.
Speaker A:They know that they don't have to worry about that because they've seen what's behind it just anecdotally just running across us on the Internet.
Speaker A:So that someday when they go, man, I'm really struggling and I don't know where to go, they go, oh, I'm pretty comfortable with that chick who says a lot.
Speaker A:And then they go find us and then we get them aligned with care.
Speaker A:And so is it an non traditional way to grow a mental health practice?
Speaker A:Probably yes, very much so.
Speaker A:Nobody can say that they don't know who we are before they start with us.
Speaker A:I think as we get more word of mouth based, more referral based, there may be some just tension there, just natural tension there from people who did not find us through social media, which is where most of our people find us right now and has been very effective.
Speaker A:And so that will just be a growing pain and a good problem to have.
Speaker A:Like that's a great problem to have.
Speaker A:But it also gives people the opportunity to self select out if that kind of activity makes you uncomfortable.
Speaker A:Not that they're getting treatment from me, because they're not.
Speaker A:But if that kind of Persona or brand makes you uncomfortable, call your insurance.
Speaker A:I bet there's a psychiatrist nearby who will see you, that's fine.
Speaker A:We'll even help you find them.
Speaker A:That's how much that we believe that you should have care that you need.
Speaker A:We will help you find somebody who does not say fuck on the Internet.
Speaker A:That's how committed we are to you, having the care that you need.
Speaker A:But also it has created an environment where the patients who end up with us, they know what they're getting, they are comfortable with what they're getting.
Speaker A:They know about the programs in advance.
Speaker A:They're not scared to ask questions.
Speaker A:They know that when we say something, we mean it.
Speaker A:And also like when we gently redirect them for doing things like apologizing too much or apologizing when they haven't done anything wrong or reminding them that anything that comes out of their face is appropriate here.
Speaker A:They actually, they respond well to that because it's not, it's not the first time they've heard it.
Speaker A:They just need to be reminded of it as opposed to, you know, walking into a room with somebody you've never spoken to before or sitting across the desk from them and figuring out what you're allowed to say and what you're not.
Speaker A:They know before they get to us that we're not going to police their language, that as long as they're kind to themselves and other people, they're welcome here, that we don't recommend wearing red hats, that we highly encourage stress relief via punching Nazis and they know what happens before they get here.
Speaker A:And so that has.
Speaker A:If you had told me that that was going to be our brand when we launched this, it's my brand.
Speaker A:It's kind of been my brand for a long time.
Speaker A:But the idea that we were going to tie that into our mental health practice, I'm not sure that that's what I thought I signed up for.
Speaker A:I genuinely think because so many of our patients come to us referred from social media, I genuinely think that the reason that we have such good success with getting people to unmask and be engaged in the process and just tell us the truth in these assessments that femmes and high masking people have often had a lot of trouble communicating in is because they know us before they meet us.
Speaker A:And that has really made a difference in the type of service that I feel like people are able to actually engage in because they know what they're getting.
Speaker A:So for today's small talk, and remember, we're going to do something like this every week where we talk about a little thing that you can do that might make these somewhat overwhelming situations a little bit more manageable or less anxiety inducing.
Speaker A:So for today's small talk, one of the things I wanted to go over is a lot of people say, like, I don't even know how to approach actual small talk.
Speaker A:So if I meet somebody new, I don't want to ask about the weather.
Speaker A:We'll talk about that another time.
Speaker A:The weather is actually a really good thing to ask about, but I also don't know what to say.
Speaker A:And the thing is that most of the people who kind of express that are people who really like to do research.
Speaker A:And so if you treat what you're doing as research, you are researching how to make this interaction better, it is less overwhelming.
Speaker A:Figure out what questions you need to ask the search engine.
Speaker A:And the search engine is this human that you are about to talk to to find out the things that you need that would make you more comfortable in this situation.
Speaker A:So new person walks up to me, you know, it's part of my job to make them comfortable and to introduce them to our product.
Speaker A:I'm pulling this out of thin air that Might not apply to you at all, but I also don't want to just jump in and say only business y things.
Speaker A:So how do I start this conversation?
Speaker A:You know, sometimes it's great to say like, hey, like where are you from?
Speaker A:That's research.
Speaker A:That's information.
Speaker A:You might be a place you're familiar with and then you can say, oh, did you know this place?
Speaker A:Or have you been to this?
Speaker A:Or oh man, I've always wanted to go there.
Speaker A:I've heard X is great.
Speaker A:If you don't know anything about it, really, what's it like living there?
Speaker A:What types of things do you tend to do for fun there?
Speaker A:Or are there any great museums there?
Speaker A:That's one that I ask because again, giant nerd.
Speaker A:But if I don't know anything about the place at all, sometimes there's been something recently in the news that you could bring up.
Speaker A:If you're like me and you're not watching the news currently because your soul just can't take it, that one might not work.
Speaker A:Sometimes there's something in pop culture you can talk about, but if you treat it like research and this person is literally just a search engine that you're going to put information in to get their responses on something, it's way less daunting.
Speaker A:What is something you want to know about this person that is unassuming, that is you know, not their deepest, darkest secret, though that is a way that you could kick off a conversation that might be memorable.
Speaker A:I'm not saying don't.
Speaker A:That will give you a piece of information that you can put into your brain search engine and go, oh, I learned this thing about this once.
Speaker A:And now you've started a conversation that's not just about these really, really silly, feel like superficial things that make people nervous to talk about.
Speaker A:Thanks for being here, guys.
Speaker A:Have a good day.
Speaker A:Love you.
Speaker A:Mean it.
Speaker A:That was my nightmare.
Speaker A:Did I miss anything?
Speaker A:Did I say fuck enough?
